I see it far too often—the human urge to push animals before they’re ready. Just like we sometimes do with ourselves or our children, we have this drive to measure progress, to check off milestones, to “get them ready” for the next step. Horses are ridden before their bodies are fully developed. Puppies are pushed through obedience training before their minds have matured. Even in competitive or show worlds, there always seems to be a timetable, a sense that an animal must reach a goal by a certain age.
It’s part of the human condition. We are planners and fixers; we want results. But this mindset can be incredibly damaging for animals, whose growth—physically, emotionally, and mentally—does not follow our schedules. Too often, the methods we use teach them to live on the edge of their nervous system, leaving them anxious, fearful, or overwhelmed.
I admire cats in this respect—they simply won’t be rushed. They move through life at their own pace, guided by instinct, curiosity, and comfort. Perhaps there’s a lesson there for us: the primary focus with any animal should always be on relationship, not performance.
I learned this early on with my Flatcoated Retriever, Maddy. When she came into my life, I was green and eager, determined to make her a “well-behaved” dog. Obedience training was the goal, and I felt the pressure—both from myself and from others—to shape her into the perfect companion. But Maddy had her own path. Obedience wasn’t her thing; field work was. Her purpose went far beyond what I imagined, and slowly I realised that pushing her would only stifle her natural gifts.
By the time Bimble arrived, I had learned the lesson. Bimble showed me that her life wasn’t about performing for me. She had her own rhythm, her own way of being in the world. My job was to listen, support, and meet her where she was, rather than push her toward an agenda I had created. That shift changed everything—not just for the animals in my care, but for the way I relate to all animals.
For guardians, this can feel counterintuitive. We want to help our animals thrive, to see them succeed. So how do we support them without pushing too hard? Here are a few thoughts:
1. Observe first, act second.
Take time to understand your animal’s natural rhythm, personality, and comfort zones. Notice when they are confident, curious, or hesitant. Progress is built on trust, not force.
2. Build the relationship.
Before training milestones, competitions, or performances, invest in connection. Play, explore, and simply be present. Animals that feel safe and understood are more willing to learn—and to enjoy the process.
3. Focus on small, meaningful steps.
Instead of rushing to a goal, break it into achievable moments. Celebrate curiosity, engagement, and confidence, rather than just obedience or speed.
4. Honour their purpose.
Every animal has gifts and inclinations. Some are athletes, some are thinkers, some are nurturers. Training should support their natural abilities, not override them.
5. Manage human expectations.
It’s natural to want progress and results—but remember that animals are not tools for our agendas. Their emotional and physical well-being is the real measure of success.
The truth is, life at an animal’s pace is often slower, but it’s far richer. Animals teach us patience, humility, and the power of presence. And for guardians, choosing to listen and support, rather than rush, is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
Because when we stop pushing, we start truly seeing our animals—and that’s where the magic happens.
